I don't consider my life different and I rarely if ever compare myself to others.
Living my life fearless is something I truly enjoy and I love new challenges.
So you see.. I couldn't refuse this invitation.
She's a best friend of mine. I love spending time with her.. so as she called me to invite me into this ''double date'' thing I didn't refuse because of her. I couldn't care less about my date.
I didn't know anything about him. My friend tried to tell me on the phone ''LET me tell you about him. Don't you want to know who he is?''
-I couldn't care less. I don't want to fuck him.
I start getting ready. Lace dress. All black. Glamourous. Pearls. I looked like those girls in vintage 40's femme fatale magazines. I was bored out of my goddamn mind.
All of a sudden I see this huge german car parked at my building. HUGE. And expensive, around 150-200.000k
Nothing out of the ordinary. I've seen better, but then I start wondering what my friend wanted to tell me about HIM.
I get in. I barely say hello.
I notice that He's the one driving. 40. Overworked. Tired. In an expensive suit. Trying so badly to impress. Fragile underneath. Submissive because of his insecurities that he tries so hard to hide.
I SMILE. That smile when I just know I won before even talking.
Win what? Whatever I want.
He starts babbling. where should we go. which restaurant. club. We should have fun. What do I want? Oh hello, what's my name? I'm so beautiful! I yawn and check my phone all the time.
They pick this place. I don't even care. and we go in.
As going inside. literally I get annoyed. Everybody 40smth males and women stare at me.
I feel eaten alive by their looks and feel like leaving.
I understand that I'm beautiful and it's normal to get alot of attention but this was ridiculous.
I pick a table. Not them. Me. like always. It seems I'm allowed always to pick where to sit and everything. Maybe I'm naturally assertive , maybe I don't care.
I order the most expensive red wine first.
I was terrible bored so drinking helps me at least to pretend the men that try to impress me aren't boring me to death. I drink one glass, 2, and then the idiot starts talking. AS EXPECTED. I know this move.
''Why do you look so disgusted dear?''
-I didn't have enough wine perhaps.
''Is that it?'' says that on a voice that tries to look cocky but we all know the truth don't we?
-Let's pretend. Let's say that's it.
I'm bored. LET'S all go somewhere to drink. YEAP. I said that. I couldn't stand hearing him talk.
We get into a club. thank god I can't hear him talk because of the music.
He tries to talk to me. I hear words like'' u re so beautiful / I love spending time with you''
So I figure I better drink more before my sadist mood gets on out of boredom.
After drinking abit too much I suggest we go at a nightclub that I know.
THE GUY is so ecstatic he even says '' just when I thought I couldn't like you more! ''
We arrive there. Finally. I greet the girls. A sexy brunette jumps into my embrace.
She's stunning, sexual, beautiful body/face and pure walking SEX.
She's always been very fond of me. I enjoyed many times in the past touching her beautiful long legs in front of lustful males that were denied this privilege by her.
To them she was a Goddess but to me she was a toy willing giving herself to me as I please.
THE GUY notices this gesture and barely holds it together. I see that he's both curious and intrigued yet wants to play it cool.
After a few more drinks. I ask my female friend if she wants to see me dance.
She s intrigued and says ''OF COURSE!
I put on an erotic rock inspired song.and in front of them I take off my stockings and throw it at the GUY. telling him ''take care of them'' Yes. I'm that humorous.
I gently and them firmly grab the pole like it's the neck of someone I both despise yet passionately want to ruin and I move as the song goes.
I dance like the world doesn't exist, like no one is there and more importantly like I am the only one on this world that matters. Because I am. I smile as I do so.
That wicked entitled sadistic yet irresistable smile.
That one that tells each male on this planet that ''No matter how much they want me or what they are willing to do to have me, they can't. And I get a huge pleasure knowing this. In being myself. In sexualising myself and bathing in that pure erotic power that I have on others.''
I finish the dance with a smirk. Arrogant and pleased of myself.
My female friend is complimenting me. Telling me that I could so do this for a living.
That I am so sexual. THE guy is quiet and can't help himself. Is conflicted and horny.
I grab his arm and then his hand and take my stockings back ''Thank you for so taking care of them''
I put them on slowly. and then my heels. right near him.
He s rigid. Tries to not look at me. yet can't help looking at my legs.
He's dead. Ruined and I know it.
He tries to put himself together and says something stupid.
''Order whatever you want.No matter the price.''
--Champagne? It's 400-500 E a bottle.
''Yes order that.''
--Why is anyone else drinking that?
''Just you.Order 40 if you want. I will pay for all of them''
-I can't possibly drink 40.
''It doesn't matter. Do what you want with them.''
I get pissed. Because I realise what he's trying to do. In essence. But is he aware of his acts?
I refuse. And I tell him that he's acting stupid and that I don't allow men to act like macho rich idiots with me, trying to impress me and such. No one can impress me.
I tell him that he doesn't stand a chance with me. Never. Not even if he orders 4000 bottles or drinks.
''I can afford to spend 100.000 Euros just on drinks tonight.Just because you ask me to.'
-That doesn't actually make you special. now. does it?
''As you clearly said. I m a worm. So yes I can and am willing to spend that much cash on pleasing you, for your amusement. '
''Because I don't like anyone. And I really like you. Like alot. It never happened to me before''
-It still won't make you get anything from me.
''I know Miss. You already told me that. I'm nothing in front of you so what difference does it make? Use me.''
-Using you I'm afraid would mean me giving you more attention that you actually deserve.
He's quiet and angry. He goes outside with my female friend.
After a while he comes back inside. clearly shooken up.
WE decide to leave. He has to drive me back home.
It's just me and him in the car.
I can only see the back of his head as he's driving. in the dark.
I'm on the back seat laying relaxed on the leather chair.
I hear him heavy breathing and can easily notice he's in a really bad mental state. After a while he starts talking.
''You're enjoying this, aren't you?''
''Not giving me any attention. Looking at me but not actually looking. Treating me as if I'm nothing,not even a human being. ''
''The problem is.. I really really like you. Don't you get it. I ..can't help it. You're terribly interesting and sexy and.. beautiful! That's a rare combination. I'm always bored and don't enjoy the women I get on dates with. But with you.. it was something else. I've never liked anyone as much as I like you. In my whole life. Can you get that? And that makes me an idiot.''
-Yeap. An idiot.
''And you wouldn't accept me giving you something. Something to drink. You think I care it's 500E? I'm an international business man, I can afford to buy cities. I work with the guvernment. I have a 1.5 milion euro house and it's just one of them. I don't care about money. Why did you refuse me?''
-Because I can't use and abuse my best friend's friend.
''WHAT? he's enraged. You refused me.. because I'm friends with her?''
-Yes. I have no morality when it comes to using men.
I've used and abused hungreds. Or did you really think I pittied you? Don't be stupid.
''Well now I feel even more stupid MISS I wasn't even good enough to be used and crushed by you. I'm literally less of an object. You wouldn't even consider me as a victim. I'm fucked by fate aren't I?
I have no possibility of getting closer to you in any how.''
-It seems so.
''Well that's so freaking convenient to you. But what about me? What am I supposed to do?'
''Just like that? But.. I can't. I'll end up going crazy. Stalking you. Invite you every weekend out.
Come to Amsterdam with me. I'll pay for everything you want. Every luxury hotel. Every shopping spree. Just accept it. I won't touch you. I just want to be there with you.
'Why the fuck not? Why?
-Like I said ALREADY [u]I won't use you.[/u] And as grabbing his sholder and pushing deep my sharp nails piercing his skin I wispered to his ear'' And it's gonna be the best thing that's ever happened to you.''
And I leave. Just like that. Like always.