I was beautiful, young, desired.
Everybody was telling me that I should work in television or be a model.
But I didn't care I was making money efortless anyway.
Since the world was mine there was no reason for me not to treat people how I felt like it which of course I did.
He was beneath me simply.
Not classy enough, not interesting enough, he didn't even deserve to be seen near me which of course made him feel terrible.
The more he struggled to dress nicely.
To act arrogant regarding his position.
The more I felt like reminding him '' you are nothing to me, just an object that I kick and play with when I'm bored out of my goddamn mind.''
He tried to seem calm but he was boiling with rage.
I gave him no choice. Accept your position or leave.
You can't win.
You will always be just an object.
And Never good enough.
Never will be seen as a human being with thoughts,feelings,desires.
The more he felt hurt by it or enraged, the more I wanted to do it to him.
There was something in that twisted feeling that amused me terrible.
HE hated it yet kept doing it.
He hated to be a piece of shit yet couldn't stop craving for me to make him feel that way. He simply couldn't leave.
Couldn't cut loose. Couldn't forget me.
And damn he tried everything.
Different women, to degrade himself in other ways in order to fix himself, to travel, nothing worked.
He just had to return just to see me laugh and tell him
''You're nothing to me. What do you want now?''
At that point in time I must of realised that the basis of human nature is to be wanted, desired, ached for.
A feeling I found amusing and rather delusional.
Why would I NEED or WANT to be wanted by someone that I don't find superior ? Or worthy of Me? What difference does it make?
But then I saw that it didn't matter what I believed about THIS, people keep being WEAK because of craving this.
It works both ways.
People want to matter to others.
That piece of shit that I treated terrible wanted to be acknowledged by me, and he was willing to destroy his life just for me to do it.
For a feeling. He was that WEAK.
And dependant on another human being.
At some point I developed a Fetish for it.
Was it degradation that I was doing?
Why was making someone do something he hates so amusing for me?
Why the fact that him knowing How WEAK he is counted more than his assumed admiration,love,respect for me?
Like a Sick game.
In which he's human and I'm...
Well. Does it really matter what I am?
As long as for that moment I am everything for a person and he no longer exists ?
Seeing that was amusing.
My Victims know I do the same thing in FINDOM.
I don't seek their validation or love but I do seek to get amused.
To see them crawl and to know they are aware of how little they mean to me while they give me everything.
It's something beyond Cruel and rather Wonderful.
Don't you think ?!