It was a story about an Egyptian Princess, perhaps cause of that.
My fascination with ancient history is well known.
This Beautiful Princess kind of resembled me.
Brunette, very into books and languages, witty, impulsive yet logical and cold.Her father chose for her a teacher, that had to be forever on her side to satisfy her cravings for culture and knowledge.
While that old man was knowledgeable he was also just a slave, an object, and you guessed he loathed deep down his position. As the princess grew he got too fond of her. Fell deeply in love with her yet never confessed his feelings. He often felt deeply tormented by his own desires. The father noticed this tho and got so angry he decided to castrate him.
I was looking at the scene, with my mind of a little girl and found it strangely erotic.
The slave having taken away something so meaningful for him.
His torment because he was still in love with Her.
A woman he can't never have. Now literally.
He'd never feel her. Never. He's doomed for life to feel a love that's purely platonic and to serve and nothing more.
The SADISM in that was so intriguing for me.
Years later when I was tormenting males for their sexual desires I've totally forgot about this movie. I didn't know much about what triggered me. And surely it wasn't just a movie, but something way darker deep inside of me that had a satisfaction in seeing a male squirm and beg and knowing he's so deeply hurt cause of me.
I've always been fond of older submissives. Perhaps cause I am a sapiosexual and way smarter for my age or perhaps I was seeking to increase the torment even deeper in their psyche.
When I was 16 I had a slave that was nearly 50.
While to others this is shocking to me it felt natural.
I recall tormenting him calling him ''too old'' and mentioning stories about handsome men that I fancied. Yet I've never fancied him.
I LOVED doing this to him.
I knew he'd have sold his soul to the devil to be younger, to have even a small chance to be ever seen as a male by me.
BUT he couldn't. So he was just an object. A thing for my satisfaction.
I then I started thinking about CHASTITY.
A TOOL won't make you HURT enough for me to enjoy it.
Would it have been more cruel if I'd ask my slave to wear a device for me and never touch himself or was I more Cruel allowing him to do it while knowing he can't never ever have me.
I always felt the latter was worse.
MENTAL PAIN is the worse pain in the world.. And Emotional pain is terrible.
I'VE LOVED TO INDUCE a MENTAL CHASTITY in the minds of all the males I've ever met.
''You are free, fuck whom you want, try to run away from me, TRY TO ESCAPE THIS TORMENT if you can.''
I didn't care. I wasn't dumb. I know men better than they know themselves.
While other women like to assume a male's genitals control him, I beg to differ, a male's MIND controls him. And I'm into his MIND. So I control his body as well.
I realised this when I had this handsome well endowed male crying on his knees in front of me.
''I CAN'T PERFORM ANYMORE''
-Why is that sweety?
''All I can think of is pleasing you. Being on my freaking knees and pleasing you. Being nothing for you. I don't like anymore to fuck women.
It doesn't work for me anymore. Have I lost my mind?''
-YES. Lost it because of me.
My satisfaction was huge.. Seeing him so lost, so weak, so vulnerable in front of me. Him being a male, women would love to have as a mate yet being Nothing in front of me. This sight was so delicious. I got so excited I was trembling yet smiled and remained cold in front of him.
I simply said ''This pleases me.''
I think CHASTITY is a joke.
I think wearing a device when you're not even well endowed is foolish.
I think people grant that perversion to subs too easily.
I think if I'm gonna bother having the key to that, and by wearing it not allowing you to have not even a SMALL PLEASURE in your pathetic life that you must MEAN ALOT to me.
Or else how could I get satisfaction knowing that I'm tormenting a male that already wasn't GIFTED by nature itself.
Is his humilliation enough for me?
I don't think so. I NEED MORE.
I need so much to get off mentally.
And you should provide me with that.
If I could ruin males that already had the world and weren't even submissives by nature but by force, cause I made them MINE, what could you provide to me to make yourself so special, that your sacrifice, in form of chastity for me, seems worthy to me?
My sadism might just be too wicked to settle for so less.
I enjoy MENTAL CHASTITY and to do it to MALES cause of that.
I enjoy seeing the SHOCK on them when they know they are so FUCKED cause of me. And no longer find physical satisfaction in anything because all they crave for is my Mental torment and Sadism.
It's the only thing that gets them off in this whole world.
YET despite everything, that.. STORY I saw as a little girl, still remained stucked somewhere in my mind. YES deep down I would love to have a slave just for me in Chastity that lives entirely for me.
But it would require for him to be indeed very special for me in order for me to feel a form of satisfaction as I'm wearing his key.
My Sadism is like a really exotic and rare fruit. HARD to trigger and I'm impossible to PLEASE. But you already know that by now, don't you little man?