And the more and more I heard how women are supposed to be compassionate, giving and reserved, the worse I got.
Enraged almost knowing that I will never Fit in.
That I'm different, that all I care about is my own Pleasure.
The wild side of me was never gonna allow me to be lovely, or tamed or giving especially when it came to pleasure.
There was this common idea that left me puzzled, that men are the providers of pleasure, that a woman can be satisfied by a man, that only them through their skills and sex can push a woman to experience the best sensations.
IF I were naive, I could have believed that. And continue my search for some perfect sexual lover that was gonna grant me with intense orgasms and lots of pleasure. But I wasn't naive.
Men couldn't resist me in bed.
They were also getting obsessive, in love, desperate just because I fucked them once.
I demanded an answer.
Why were they losing their goddamn mind during the act.
A male told me his answer : '' A woman that uses a man in bed like he's some sex toy, Is selfish and can get herself to orgasm and come is the sexiest Woman alive.''
I had no problem using them like sex toys. My Selfishness wouldn't allow it other way anyway. But what I didn't get was why were they screaming..and moaning so badly.
Throughout the years I've got to know my body really good.
That electricity going through my body when I was excited.
My inner muscles contracting and aching.
My body's capacity to reward me with such strong sensations and pleasure just because my mind demanded it.
My body was a faithful servant of my mind.
If my Mind was excited my body could reach to orgasm without being touched.
As for them, the men? They were puppets aching to sense also the pleasure already my body was providing to me.
They were part of the game but not important paticipants.
The Irony? This pleased them the most.
A physical sensation they've never sensed before.
Pure electricity going from down up to their neck through their spine.
The provider? This woman that was now laughing at them hearing them scream and seeing their shock.
Selfishness. Womanity. Pure sexual female pleasure.
So many strong sensations that I thought were gonna make my brain explode and my body break into thousands of pieces.
A pleasure worth dying for.
Somewhere between dead and alive.
In an universe that makes sense yet in which everything stops because you're all that matters.
There I wonder if Pure sexual pleasure when it comes to women is 100% selfish. And Locked deep inside them like a lost treasure waiting to be unlocked.
All I know for sure is that it makes a Woman 100% Powerful