It's hard to say exactly when did it all start?
It must of always been there, maybe I just didn't notice it.
As a smart girl, top of her class in school, praised by teachers and people all around her. Being too smart and terribly bored cause of it. Hearing I should become a surgeon, or a politician. Or anything really, because there wasn't something I couldn't do. I've accomplished everything I've ever wanted.
I recall being scared of myself.
No one should be this good.
I would humilliate boys because it felt like they couldn't top my intelligence yet were cocky about themselves.
I used to notice they were actually hurt because of what I would tell them yet never had any remorse for what I did or said. It felt like it's a natural selection.I was better how dared they assume otherwise?
Then I found out this boy I humilliated in front of all school was accepted to Harvard.
Was he brilliant? Sure. Did that offer him an advantage in front of me? Not really. It didn't feel that way to me.
He felt weak and insecure and like his mind couldn't work as faster as mine as I was talking to him and twisting each of his words.
My highschool used to produce alot of genius kids that would win international competitions and by doing so shocking Europe with their discoveries and huge brains?! It must of been and perhaps still is, the last institution that had that communistic belief that if a kid isn't above average smart or a genius he's shit.
I was a genius so I had it easy but others actually committed suicide, they couldn't take the pressure anymore.
The weird part? I decided to study at this highschool out of free will. I simply felt too smart for my own good and had to prove to myself that I wasn't wrong. I did.
This girl.. must of allured me. I had a computer at home yet no internet.
I had to go at an internet cafe in order to use the internet for my school assignments.
As being there I would often complain that I'm bored so one day she had this idea.
''DO your homework while chatting with idiots. ''
-Will they know me, meaning the real me?
''No. they can't see you, choose a nick and make fun of them, it's gonna make time go faster.''
She was right. It worked. The problem? I was getting too good at it.
I lied every time about my age. Used to say I'm 25 or 30 even.
And I was 15 back then.
No one noticed. I seemed like I was older. I knew everything about politics, history, literature and had alot of insight about human psychology. Afterall I was a book worm. I must of read thousands of books. And psychology was my field. The only thing that really interested me.
Back then I ENJOYED seeing men EXPOSING their weaknesses so easily to a stranger
I soon realised that the internet didn't feel much REAL to them.
AND YES I decided to use that against them. After making many cry and begging to meet me. offering to do everything for that to happen despite them not knowing anything about me, I felt like I was bored again.
So I looked for a chat that was for smart people/ above average smart and intellectuals.
No one was vulgare there or dumb. But they did talk about subjects that might make a few people feel uncomfortable.
THERE I FOUND MY WORLD yet.. I had a TWISTED PLAN.
What could I make them do for me? Could I make them go crazy for me? Could I exploit them? Crush them? USE them for my selfish and mean desires?
These men were doctors, business men, university teachers. Alphas.
They wouldn't CRACK easily.
To them their EGO was their life and had meaning. So I had to do it.
There. I found the perfect victim. Woman hater. International business man.
With a passion for arts, psychology and politics. Smarter for his own good or sanity.
After talking to me for 1 hour He couldn't get me out of his head.
I vanished for a while. He would look for my NICK everywhere. He didn't know anything about me.
Each time he would catch me online he just had to talk to me. WHO was that mysterious smart evil woman?
WHAT DID SHE DO TO HIS BRAIN? Why can't he stop thinking about her?
WE talked more. Up until he had to find out my secret. I just turned 16! And he was 45.
He felt hurt. His whole world crushed just like that. He fancied someone He could never ever have no matter what he did. EVER.
I calmed him down. Because I knew all along he will never have me. That wasn't part of the plan.
But he had to become mine. Devoted. Submissive. And willing to offer me the world whenever I pleased.
And he did. For years. 8 years actually.
He gave me everything he could and lived for me.
I knew all along he was crushed by a secret he only revelead to me when I was 20.
He was obsessively in love with me ever since..we started talking.
I laughed. ''I know that you idiot. Why do you think I used to tell you about the men in my life? If not to make you feel even more and more hurt?''
He tried everything. Even proposed. He was willing to accept to give me everything he has including his name and never ever touch me. He was willing to live near me and die like a slave if that's what it took being near me.
But I couldn't accept it.
My game was to crush his ego and soul and feel that he's all mine.
That I could make him accept to be nothing in front of me yet to desire that more than everything.
But I couldn't face the consequences of that action all my life.
So I broke that connection the only way that I knew how. By being the worst sadist that ever existed and ruining him completely emotionally.
Time passed. It's been 13 years since then.
But that's how it all began. With a sick idea in a girl's mind that believed she could top everybody no matter their education/status/age and with the proof that she was right.