Modelling.
Exquisite parties.
Working in PR and Marketing among men. Being fierce and bitch. No, you don't want to hear me scream.
Being demanding and entitled.
The supreme East European Princess. Doll. Yet dressed always in business clothes.
And like that wearing leather gloves, leather boots, and expensive handbags became my signature.
Men kept wondering, ''who on earth could literally be good enough for her'.
When I was 18 I made a decission. I'm gonna be everything.
I'm beautiful? I m gonna become even better.
I don't fear working with men, male jobs pay better so I'm gonna step on them without even carying.
Society rules? Who gives a fuck about those?
You're scared? You're a lawyer/doctor/business man hiding behind your computer screen. LAME. I don't hide.
You're gonna tell on me? Expose me. RUTHLESS. looK She's a dominatrix. WORLD. She's evil!
I'm gonna laugh. Wanna know why? I'm my own boss. Nobody cares. well actually it might make them bow even more in front of me. But In my world I can be exactly what I want.
I've earned that right in the vanilla world also.
The begining? It was strange. There I was sitting between vanilla men in exquisite expensive clubs with my whiskey in one hand. Laughing at them. Because while I was treated as a Princess at the same time I wasn't an object . No one dared to touch me. I was there for my enjoyment. My presence was rewarded. And to think I was just 18.
And everybody knew me and no one dared to try to even step on me.
I was the unattainable. Look but don't touch.
My role soon changed when I was working and earing alot of cash. More than most men and laughing at them.
That they lack brains. Balls. That I;m better.
And then something happened. I got bored. Vanilla world became too small for me.
Vanilla men would easily submit in front of me like I was this dark queen.
Until I met this.. guy. Old. Intelligent. Above average smart. He remained near me for 8 years.
He was always there near me, his role was just.. not Certain.
Until this devil in my brain told me. ''he has it all he's yours, you should use him''
He knew me since I was 15-16. He cared yet I knew he shouldn't because I was turning into something else.
It was an intense mental connection. He as slave, me as dominatrix/sadist/owner.
All he has and was belonged to me. All he knew was in my benefit.
The key to a world I didn't manage to know much about. With Yachts, international businesses, really powerful people.
I wanted to be apart of that but I knew I first must prove to myself that I can.
He smiled, mentioned I knew nothing about that world. So I put him in his knees crying and admitting that he loved me ever since I was 16. That he's gonna give me everything he owns.
I SMILED I have won. That man's HEART was in my palm.
But my next move was to CRUSH IT.
Even if by doing so I crushed a part of my heart also. And yes it hurt. I wanted it to hurt.
Because I was THIS WOMAN. And I LOVE BEING THIS WOMAN.
Throughout the years many people BEGGED me to crush their hearts.
Like this intense sadistic game. In which I;m staring. It hurts me also to some extent yet I'm still doing it.
This perverse game continnued even with this woman I cared about.
She wanted me to hurt her and would look me deeply in my eyes asking for it.
And I wanted also to do it, because sadism in me is intense and makes my blood boil.
But I didn't. I left that day knowing that she will curse me all her life. I refused to hurt her more.
I live in a world in which intense emotions are the real PERVERSION.
A world in which as years passed I noticed it has accepted me more and more.
People come to me live. They seek to me online. They crave the same thing. The same poison that only I can give them.
[u]Hit me hard. Make me feel alive.[/u]
Posted on : http://www.findoms.com/blog/17460/i-know-i-039-m-too-sadistic-to-be-real/
Exquisite parties.
Working in PR and Marketing among men. Being fierce and bitch. No, you don't want to hear me scream.
Being demanding and entitled.
The supreme East European Princess. Doll. Yet dressed always in business clothes.
And like that wearing leather gloves, leather boots, and expensive handbags became my signature.
Men kept wondering, ''who on earth could literally be good enough for her'.
When I was 18 I made a decission. I'm gonna be everything.
I'm beautiful? I m gonna become even better.
I don't fear working with men, male jobs pay better so I'm gonna step on them without even carying.
Society rules? Who gives a fuck about those?
You're scared? You're a lawyer/doctor/business man hiding behind your computer screen. LAME. I don't hide.
You're gonna tell on me? Expose me. RUTHLESS. looK She's a dominatrix. WORLD. She's evil!
I'm gonna laugh. Wanna know why? I'm my own boss. Nobody cares. well actually it might make them bow even more in front of me. But In my world I can be exactly what I want.
I've earned that right in the vanilla world also.
The begining? It was strange. There I was sitting between vanilla men in exquisite expensive clubs with my whiskey in one hand. Laughing at them. Because while I was treated as a Princess at the same time I wasn't an object . No one dared to touch me. I was there for my enjoyment. My presence was rewarded. And to think I was just 18.
And everybody knew me and no one dared to try to even step on me.
I was the unattainable. Look but don't touch.
My role soon changed when I was working and earing alot of cash. More than most men and laughing at them.
That they lack brains. Balls. That I;m better.
And then something happened. I got bored. Vanilla world became too small for me.
Vanilla men would easily submit in front of me like I was this dark queen.
Until I met this.. guy. Old. Intelligent. Above average smart. He remained near me for 8 years.
He was always there near me, his role was just.. not Certain.
Until this devil in my brain told me. ''he has it all he's yours, you should use him''
He knew me since I was 15-16. He cared yet I knew he shouldn't because I was turning into something else.
It was an intense mental connection. He as slave, me as dominatrix/sadist/owner.
All he has and was belonged to me. All he knew was in my benefit.
The key to a world I didn't manage to know much about. With Yachts, international businesses, really powerful people.
I wanted to be apart of that but I knew I first must prove to myself that I can.
He smiled, mentioned I knew nothing about that world. So I put him in his knees crying and admitting that he loved me ever since I was 16. That he's gonna give me everything he owns.
I SMILED I have won. That man's HEART was in my palm.
But my next move was to CRUSH IT.
Even if by doing so I crushed a part of my heart also. And yes it hurt. I wanted it to hurt.
Because I was THIS WOMAN. And I LOVE BEING THIS WOMAN.
Throughout the years many people BEGGED me to crush their hearts.
Like this intense sadistic game. In which I;m staring. It hurts me also to some extent yet I'm still doing it.
This perverse game continnued even with this woman I cared about.
She wanted me to hurt her and would look me deeply in my eyes asking for it.
And I wanted also to do it, because sadism in me is intense and makes my blood boil.
But I didn't. I left that day knowing that she will curse me all her life. I refused to hurt her more.
I live in a world in which intense emotions are the real PERVERSION.
A world in which as years passed I noticed it has accepted me more and more.
People come to me live. They seek to me online. They crave the same thing. The same poison that only I can give them.
[u]Hit me hard. Make me feel alive.[/u]
Posted on : http://www.findoms.com/blog/17460/i-know-i-039-m-too-sadistic-to-be-real/